Choosing Celibacy Part 2!! (My 2yr Anniversary)

I use to jump from relationship to relationship because I was looking for something. The fulfillment to be loved with no limits. I thought a relationship would complete me. Each relationship came with the promise that it is what I needed. Instead each relationship left me more empty and broken. 

I could have stayed in one broken relationship for 7yrs but I've always been able to see when a person reveals their true colors that it's time to move.... 

Being in one broken relationship is no better or worse than someone who has been in multiple broken relationships. Broken relationships almost always include infidelity. Although you may not be the one cheating the residue still touches you.... 

Each day I realize more and more the relationship I was in need of was with my Heavenly Father. 

You'll never have fulfillment in any relationship until you have an established relationship with the Creator....

I've been chasing and looking for love, attention, and truth since I was 6yrs old. It's totally consumed me most of my life. I've made the decision to give that desire/weakness over to God. I'm expecting His strength to be made perfect. 

I'll be celebrating two years of celibacy this Month!!! Glory to God!!!!!!!

Now this shouldn't even be a celebration because in Gods eyes it's the only way to be when your unmarried! I thank God for my lovely friend who saw my life going back down the wrong path and planted this blog into my life. She saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. Hope. 

Check it out when you can!

http://www.heatherllindsey.com/2014/08/why-we-waited-until-our-wedding-day-to.html?m=1 

I struggled with my sexuality since I was a little girl. Molested. Raped. Promiscuous. Even dated girls. Masturbation has also been a huge struggle for me. 

BUT in-spite of things that happened to me and what I caused upon myself God has been redeeming and restoring me!! For a long time I've placed my "no" on the shelf and just gave in. 

By the power of the Holy Spirit and my freedom of choice I can now stand boldly and say, NO I CHOOSE TO WAIT! I CHOOSE TO HONOR GOD! 

 

Am I still tempted? Of Course! It's more intense now because instead of giving in I choose to fight back! The devil hates it!!

Questions I asked myself when making the decision to become celibate. When you've been where I been you begin to question (at least I did) are these desires really mine? Or have my desires been tainted by my experiences and pain? Do I want to live to please God or the world? Do I trust God enough to lay my desires down to walk in His promises for my life? 

 

When I made the decision to become celibate I was pregnant and most people would assume it's too late. But it's never too late. Then I turned around and lost a friend to HIV shortly after. That experience humbled me. I knew it could of and should of been me. Yet instead God blessed me with the responsibility of birthing His creation. After that my decision was made clear. I choose CHRIST.  why? Because He first chose me!!!

I finally decided to start making changes that would heal me! 

I spent a great

deal in The Word getting an understanding of what God says about sex. I wasn't completely sure for myself. How does God see sex outside of marriage? Can I be forgiven? Can I be healed? Will God bless me with a husband inspite of my past? God answered ALL of my questions and some. Maybe God is convicting you. If so I would say trust HIM!! 

God wants nothing more but for us to live a joyful and fulfilling life. We can't totally have that living outside of His will. Giving up sex before marriage was just one of the many major changes I had to make in my life. This decision was also one of the biggest decisions I had to make. Lets be real people waiting to have dex until marriage is totally not done in the world and even in the church. I remember going to pastors for help only to find they were still battling just like I was yet instead of choosing to have victory over their struggles they were still letting the devil and their own desires win! 

I didn't want to live a double life anymore. God word is truth and that's what I want to live by. 

This scripture: or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived neither the sexually immoral nor idolatrous nor adultery nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanders nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9,10

This scripture used to rip me apart. I used to think I'm going straight to hell! But just recently God gave  me a revelation on it. 

Lets say, you have a boyfriend and you guys attend church and everything. Lets say you guys are having sex outside of marriage and you know it's wrong. If God blessed you with a gift could you truly in your heart of hearts enjoy it or would you feel guilty because of the sin you live in? How many times have you been offered a gift and turned it down because you didn't feel worthy? When I was living in my sin I didn't feel worthy of accepting gifts from God. The Kingdom of God is a gift. How many of us walk around with uncertainty in our hearts about where we belong with God because of the sin we choose over Him?

In this scripture God isn't saying you can't come into the kingdom but instead your own guilt will keep you from it. So lets read on: 

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of The Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God. I Corinthians 6:10,11

When you truly embrace Gods Grace you will want to sin-LESS. 

Thanks for reading and please share!! God bless!!!!

#LessonLearned

#KeepingGodFirst 

#FallingInLoveWithMySavior 

#MyCelibacyJourney