No More Excuses! It's A New Day!

I REMEMBER  sitting up with my home-girls calling other chicks sluts and h***. UNTIL  one day I became a h**. I REMEMBER  hating my Dad when I was growing up for not being in my life and taking care of someone else's kids over his own flesh and blood. UNTIL  I woke up one day in a Condo right off the beach in Florida that wasn't  mines with someone else's son and my boys were no where in sight. FOR A LONG TIME that was a truth I ran from. A truth I didn't want to own up to. I had messed up really really bad. Unintentionally I became like every person I never wanted to be like. I fell prey to a pimp and today's pimp culture and lost my identity. All the things I said "I would never do" I did. All the places I thought was out of my reach to go I went. Not to pursue my dreams but instead to hit the pavement every night to pay a pimp. To lay on my back and allow men to steal a piece of my precious jewel while my wifey and I robbed him for all he had....

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." Psalm 27-4 Where it all began. A Mother can give you all the love in the world but it still doesn't fill the void of a Father. My Mother did her best to give me all I wanted and let me do what I wanted yet that void couldn't be filled. It didn't disappear during my adulthood either it just switched from desiring daddy's love to mans love. Many times I didn't want to admit that it was the desire to have my father around that hurt so bad deep down inside. My Dad didn't come to my games or come to the school when I got in trouble but he did for his Step children who attended school with me at that time. I tried to stay angry with him and talk negatively about him but deep down inside I still wanted to know what it would feel like to have Daddy's love. In relationships love meant pain for me. Love meant compromise if you wanted a man around. Even the "good guys" played gam...