Suicide Girl (Saved by Grace)
I was listening to Tupac and this verse stuck out to me.
"Is life worth living or should I blast myself?" Tupac
In 2011 a pistol was put to my head three times. Twice by me and twice by the cops(another story). On the outside I was doing really good compared to what I had just got out of. I had my own place with my boys, three jobs, car, and what looked like "freedom". My heart still hurt. My mind was still all over the place. Getting drunk wasn't helping. Getting high wasn't helping.The new guy wasnt helping.I was only doing more dumb stuff. Some I can remember and some I can't. They told me if I got it together I would be alright. By this point I couldnt take another piece of advice. Most of the people I knew was going through so it would be impossible for them to help me out. I had finally learned my lesson about seeking "help" or "friendly advice" from people. Sad to say but friends and family sometimes love to see you hurting and want you doing bad. They will sign the petition to send you straight to hell while sitting and eating dinner with you at the same time. Funny thing was I already knew what having it together looked like. In 2009 I had it "together" then in one day it all changed. I met a pimp (that's another story too). I didn't want another crazy unexplainable moment to happen like the one in 2009 but I couldn't see any other way out. I wrote goodbye letters. I was selfish and lost.
BUT GOD! There was this ONE lady at my job who stood out from everybody else. Her response to everything was different. She always spoke about God. Always. The third time when the laws pulled guns to my head I went to work and wrote her a note. Something in me just said "ask her"! So I did.
I asked her " Can a person who has sold their soul to the devil ever get it back? "
She replied, "you can never sell your soul to the devil. He can borrow it but your soul belongs to the Lord. "
She asked me, Do you believe Jesus died on the cross for your sins?
I said, yes but I just can't get away I'm trying but sin keeps following me I keep falling for it.
She asked me to repent, seek forgiveness, and pray.
Today I look back and I thank Jesus for his grace and his mercy. All my life I was trying to "get right" by myself or with the help of people. At that time most people I knew were just as lost as I was. They couldn't help me when they couldn't help themselves. I'm writing this to someone out there who feels like there is no hope. Your on the right path but your trying to do it by yourself or with people who can't help you. Pray for them. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. U feel alone but I live witness God is always with us. Even in darkness.
Read Psalms 23.
A lesson learned: I can do ALL things through Christ !
My mind has been set free. We think the situation or something on the outside needs to change then life will get better. The devil is a lie. Look at all the celebrities of today who have it "together" but can't stay out of rehab, dying of drug overdose, divorce and etc. U may even know somebody who claims to have it all but they can't trust anybody and feel everyone is out to get them. They can't even live soberly. They prey on weak people for entertainment. Why? A cold heart and a lost mind without God is destruction. Without God in your life everything does seem cold. A man/woman of God knows to cast all cares on the Lord and live with no worries even if everything seems all bad. God plans are to prosper. See Jeremiah 29:11.
**Dont seek mans counsel this time. Seek Jesus. ***
Your struggling. You need God but don't know what to do. You think your too far gone to get back on track. The devil is a lie.
God wants us all to repent and be saved. The question is do you believe?
Say this prayer if you believe:
Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.
I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.
You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.
Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.
Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.
Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.
Amen.
Things will get better. Trust God. He will start bringing Godly people in your life continue to trust God even if they let you down. Catch the lesson from the situation. Don't dwell on the pain too long.
Signed by: Suicide Girl (Saved By Grace)
"Is life worth living or should I blast myself?" Tupac
In 2011 a pistol was put to my head three times. Twice by me and twice by the cops(another story). On the outside I was doing really good compared to what I had just got out of. I had my own place with my boys, three jobs, car, and what looked like "freedom". My heart still hurt. My mind was still all over the place. Getting drunk wasn't helping. Getting high wasn't helping.The new guy wasnt helping.I was only doing more dumb stuff. Some I can remember and some I can't. They told me if I got it together I would be alright. By this point I couldnt take another piece of advice. Most of the people I knew was going through so it would be impossible for them to help me out. I had finally learned my lesson about seeking "help" or "friendly advice" from people. Sad to say but friends and family sometimes love to see you hurting and want you doing bad. They will sign the petition to send you straight to hell while sitting and eating dinner with you at the same time. Funny thing was I already knew what having it together looked like. In 2009 I had it "together" then in one day it all changed. I met a pimp (that's another story too). I didn't want another crazy unexplainable moment to happen like the one in 2009 but I couldn't see any other way out. I wrote goodbye letters. I was selfish and lost.
BUT GOD! There was this ONE lady at my job who stood out from everybody else. Her response to everything was different. She always spoke about God. Always. The third time when the laws pulled guns to my head I went to work and wrote her a note. Something in me just said "ask her"! So I did.
I asked her " Can a person who has sold their soul to the devil ever get it back? "
She replied, "you can never sell your soul to the devil. He can borrow it but your soul belongs to the Lord. "
She asked me, Do you believe Jesus died on the cross for your sins?
I said, yes but I just can't get away I'm trying but sin keeps following me I keep falling for it.
She asked me to repent, seek forgiveness, and pray.
Today I look back and I thank Jesus for his grace and his mercy. All my life I was trying to "get right" by myself or with the help of people. At that time most people I knew were just as lost as I was. They couldn't help me when they couldn't help themselves. I'm writing this to someone out there who feels like there is no hope. Your on the right path but your trying to do it by yourself or with people who can't help you. Pray for them. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. U feel alone but I live witness God is always with us. Even in darkness.
Read Psalms 23.
A lesson learned: I can do ALL things through Christ !
My mind has been set free. We think the situation or something on the outside needs to change then life will get better. The devil is a lie. Look at all the celebrities of today who have it "together" but can't stay out of rehab, dying of drug overdose, divorce and etc. U may even know somebody who claims to have it all but they can't trust anybody and feel everyone is out to get them. They can't even live soberly. They prey on weak people for entertainment. Why? A cold heart and a lost mind without God is destruction. Without God in your life everything does seem cold. A man/woman of God knows to cast all cares on the Lord and live with no worries even if everything seems all bad. God plans are to prosper. See Jeremiah 29:11.
**Dont seek mans counsel this time. Seek Jesus. ***
Your struggling. You need God but don't know what to do. You think your too far gone to get back on track. The devil is a lie.
God wants us all to repent and be saved. The question is do you believe?
Say this prayer if you believe:
Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.
I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.
You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.
Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.
Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.
Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.
Amen.
Things will get better. Trust God. He will start bringing Godly people in your life continue to trust God even if they let you down. Catch the lesson from the situation. Don't dwell on the pain too long.
Signed by: Suicide Girl (Saved By Grace)
I can relate to this. A lot of times we as people we wear mask to cover up who we really are or the things that we are going through(our feelings), I can honestly say that I am guilty of this. I am not sure why I feel comfortable saying this to you because I hav not told anyone else. There have been many times when I have contemplated suicide. For me the loneliness is the hard part. You can have friends and you can have your family and still be missing something. For me I try to fill the void by trying to keep involved in the church, spending time with family and friend, trying to help other people and the devil still creeps in and take over my mind and send me into depression. I just want you to know that you encourage me, I am thankful for your testimony.
ReplyDeleteKeep these words close to your heart.
ReplyDeleteIsaiah 40:30-31
New International Version (NIV)
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Love you. God bless.