“Being a side chick almost cost me my life”

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always dreamed of being his one and only.

Somehow I always ended up being someone else’s option. Like a favorite song, I started out on repeat. Couldn’t get enough of me. Then shortly afterwards I played out like a song on the radio….Now you’ve tuned me out and changed the station. And I quote the last thing you said, “on to the next one.”

I always dreamed of being his one and only but he never even noticed me.

How did I end up being someone else’s option?

 

The deception of lust……

I feel led to be transparent. I pray God leads this to the one who needs to be reminded how lovely she truly is in His sight even if no one else notices. I pray the man who reads this will think twice about the lady he chooses to mistreat.

Since I was a little girl I always dreamed of being someone’s one and only. I’m a music lover and as a kid artist like Mary J, Indie Arie, Destiny’s Child, Alicia Keys, and Mariah Carey blasting in my room while I stood in front of my full body sliding closet door mirrors singing my heart out as if I was on American Idol.

Unbeknownst to me I was longing for my daddy’s love. My heavenly daddy not my earthly one but it would take a long journey through hell for me to finally realize that.

By the time I was 8 I had received my first ring from a little boy on the playground at the boys and girls club. Then he cheated and dumped me for another girl. We were kids and it was just a little innocent crush but it still hurt my little heart.

At 14, I thought I found the one and lost my virginity to my 17yr old boyfriend. We didn’t stay together much longer after that but I never gave up on finding someone who could love me. I used to tell myself that I wasn’t going to allow a bad relationship to make me lose hope.

In spite of the promise I made to myself I continued to end up in bad relationships where I was taken advantage of and misused. As bad as I wanted to not break the promise I made to myself I was burnt out on love.

By the time I turned twenty-one I was a single mom of two. I had babies by two men that were convenient strangers that didn’t love my children or me.

Then the worst thing happened to me……I found myself in the hands of a pimp and for 2 ½ yrs. I worked in the sex industry and was sexually exploited.

After leaving the industry I hadn’t got any help to deal with the issues that I faced while working in the industry. I didn’t take out time to heal from past wounds. Everything was still boggled up on the inside.

Being in the industry gave me new truths and new normal. In the past I broke up with a guy who cheated on me. Now I had lived in a house where there was ten women to one guy before.

No matter how I tried to escape it my desire to be in a loving relationship never left.

But now I had this shameful past hanging over my head. I’ve always tried to be honest with people I’ve dated so I would tell guys that I had a pimp and that I worked in the sex industry. Most guys were intrigued and fascinated by it. They wanted to know more about my pimp and the lifestyle and all the money that was made.

Those guys I would quickly turn away.

Then I met a guy seemed to accept my past. He would say that I deserved better and that he wanted to be the guy to show me that. But he would come with a disclaimer that I was to overlook. He was married.

I became his side chick. Why? I believed the myth. You can’t turn a hoe into a wife. I based my value and worth on how men in my past mistreated me so I carried myself in a way of unworthiness.

The relationship would get out of control and lead up to me contemplating suicide.

Not only was he another manipulator he was wanted by the cops and because I was seen with him I had to go to trial to clear my name and relationship with him.

I won’t disclose what the case was about but he had a record of taking advantage of vulnerable women. He was also abusive.

After the trial was over the detective made me promise her that I would never talk to him again and I would focus only on getting my life back together for me and my kids.

I did just that.

Because my dream of being someone’s one and only never went away I tried to make my dream still come alive even if it was reckless.

This wasn’t supposed to be my life. I wanted to be someone one and only. I didn’t want to be a single mom. I wanted my children to have what I didn’t. A home where a mother and father reside.

Today my life has been totally transformed by the power of God!

Ladies I want you to know that the same power God saved me with He will do the same for you!

Don’t buy into the worlds hype that it’s cool to be someone side chick because it’s NOT.

When God formed you in your mother’s womb He thought nothing but PURPOSE and GREATNESS for you! Being someone’s side chick was not in God’s plan for your life but He can redeem that part of your life if only you surrender it to Him.

God created you to be a woman for one man your husband! Not boyfriend or baby daddy but husband.

The man God has for you will not make you an option, keep you as a girlfriend, or just make a baby without making you his wife. God does things in order sometimes it’s not in a perfect order because we’re human and flawed but a man of God will want to be in a relationship that honors God not himself, his ego, and pride. God wouldn’t send you a man who has alter motives to hurt you.

One thing God will do his reveal RED FLAGS. Ladies we must start paying attention to those red flags. I know for me I always overlooked them because I was too busy feeling guilty about my past I would be willing to take anything because I didn’t BELIEVE I deserved anything better.

Ladies you must first BELIEVE that you deserve better.  

You’re worth more than that. I know the songs makes it cool and I know you’ve been hurt time and time again and being in relationships with no strings attached seems easier but this time I challenge you to give GOD a chance!

Make God a priority and watch how your life is going to change!

Think back to when you were a little girl. Your dream wasn’t to be someone one’s option. You didn’t want to be a side chick.

So why are you settling now?

You deserve God’s best! Believe it and Receive it!!!!!

Love ya