IS THIS LOVE? IS THIS LUST?


1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand ground in defending."
But no one hardly ever seems to love like that described in the scripture
 above.God is love.  Can you honestly say that is being glorified in your relationship? Probably not, Its all selfish motive or settling for less than Gods best. Nowadays people get into relationships and marry for every reason but love. People are neglecting their vows and creating dysfunctional households.

Relationships are hard work just like every other part of  life. Continue to fight and refuse to give up quick.  Remember its for better AND worse. Speaking to your Pastor or attending therapy sessions may sound  cliche to some people but sometimes you need a nonjudgmental third party to step in and help provide clarity or challenge you to open your mind and change your perspective on the storm your facing. Most times a person action is rooted from a problem much deeper than the eye can see.

 

People battle with hurts that never got healed from childhood. Be willing to fight and get to the root of the problem rather than quitting on the relationship so fast.

She may be promiscuous because of a  childhood molestation or rape that she never healed from and it confuses her on what love is. Are you willing to help her heal or do you run off and just label her a h** like every one else?

He may have grew up in a abusive home and see getting physical in an argument is the only way to express himself rather than communicating since that's how his Step Dad taught him. Are You willing to help him battle that demon or do you just file charges on him and never look back? This is where real love comes in.  (Of course don't forget to fast and pray for guidance as well!)

          

                      WANT LOVE? 

GET TO KNOW THE CREATOR FIRST!  GOD

  Real love starts with God as your center and having a personal relationship with him.You should want someone who you are equally yoked with who loves God more than they love themselves.2 Corinthians 6:14 God is love. When you don't have a personal relationship with God the creator of love its impossible to know what love is to receive it or give it away. These days most relationships are operating from lust. "The Right Now" spirit. Lust demands its own way. Lust loses interest quickly and instead of fighting it gives up easily. You guys are going steady for a few months then all of a sudden your bored and no longer  interested in that person. That's lust and without God as the center, the relationship falls just like the one who builds his house on sand. A house divided will not stand.


               MY STORY

As I was dating last year I was convicted in my spirit that what I calling love was actually lust. I had to break it off with the guy I was dating because I finally realized that "this ain't love."  None of my actions were rooted from love but rather insecurity and lust. I'm a woman with a past. Yes we all have a past some darker than others mine happens to be in that darker category. I wasn't ashamed to the point of me being afraid to speak about it. My honesty on that  wasn't a problem. It was the other side of it that I was holding back.

 The part where I had made the decision that based on my past all I deserved was the bottom of the barrel type of guy. Most times you can tell a good man from the man who hasn't quite reached the ''good guy'' place in his life. You can see the potential even if he's facing adversity when you meet him but there are those men that you just know ain't the truth.

 Since my past was a mess I thought the rest of my life would have to be a mess too. I put on the happy face and acted as if I was cool still dating the ''huslta'' who lived with parents or shacked with a friend, the guy who wasn't over his ex type and compares everybody to her, or the type who live off women. But internally I didn't want that for my kids and I.

 I knew all about Gods wrath. I would let my past define my future. I expected him to come with some baggage and I was willing to accept whatever that happened to be. Then I  got to that point of dating any type of man just to have a man. I was saying "I love you'' but deep down I knew I only was only dating  him because I was defining my future by my past. 

 I knew what kind of love I desired to have but  it seemed like yet another dream that wasn't within my reach. A dream I didn't believe I was worth having. I desired the kind of love from a man who was a protector, a provider, a father to his children, a leader, a dreamer and the list went on.

 In the beginning he asked me if I knew the difference between love and lust. I thought I did know but this time I was able to see it face to face (my conviction) and I realized I didn't want to spend my life with him or anyone based on those wrong principles. Instead of me being able to wallow in my mess like I was use to doing and running away to something new the 'Holy Spirit' told me to repent.

 We were just killing time and internally it was killing me. I left the option open that we could still be friends but when I told him I wouldn't be having sex with him anymore that was it.I made the decision to practice celibacy and build a better relationship with God and learn what real love is all about. One year of CELIBACY! Praise GOD for that!!!! I made the decision to seek out who I am in Christ  and start loving me more so when the real comes I can embrace it.

 

 I stopped defining my today with my yesterday. God forgives. Now I had to forgive myself and move on. My struggle is my ministry.  My revelations and deliverance can help someone but I had to stop punishing myself by making poor choices in men continually and accept Gods GRACE. Now when lust comes along I can resist it and flee instead of falling victim to it. How? The power of the Holy Spirit that lives inside of me and prayer. Now I don't just date anybody just to have a somebody. Now I don't see just the pain and guilt from my past but rather the lessons, my blessings (my kids), restoration, and God has been watching over me the whole way through to get me to this very place I  am today, using my story for his glory.  

Today ask yourself, Is this love? Is this lust? If its love good keep pushing! If its lust brace yourself you have work to do! Pray and ask God to help you. He will take care of the rest.
Be Blessed. A Lesson Learned.



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